you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
