hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
