Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
In America we eat man semen.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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