doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
