I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
