Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
