We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
