Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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