chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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