also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
