Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
