they need to just BURY HIM!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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