I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
