you guys were way drunker than both of me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
