i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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