Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Two words: blizzard sex
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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