Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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