Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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