Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
