3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
