At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
