Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
