Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
