I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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