Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
