piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
