sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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