I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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