But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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