it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
