Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
