I want to have your abortion
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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