I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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