Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize