just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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