She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
