i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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