My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
