are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
