I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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