no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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