I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
