yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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