Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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