and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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