So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
