Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

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  (661): Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better. http://tfl.nu/n2tz
  Replies (6) Good night (2441) Bad night (703)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.

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  (717): i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now. http://tfl.nu/sepd
  Replies (86) Good night (5227) Bad night (2207)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.

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  (336): You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed. http://tfl.nu/cedv
  Replies (101) Good night (9917) Bad night (1245)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk

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  (541): Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk http://tfl.nu/l5et
  Replies (7) Good night (4445) Bad night (1392)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.

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  (616): On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey. http://tfl.nu/p3t0
  Replies (6) Good night (6069) Bad night (1004)
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  (925): View more from California

  Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?

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  (925): Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of? http://tfl.nu/w46i
  Replies (9) Good night (2389) Bad night (1323)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl

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  (250): i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl http://tfl.nu/d9d2
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (2448)
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  (916): View more from California

  Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.

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  (916): Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless. http://tfl.nu/cdoe
  Replies (9) Good night (3066) Bad night (954)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper

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  (303): he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper http://tfl.nu/eza0
  Replies (13) Good night (621) Bad night (2126)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.

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  (570): If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes. http://tfl.nu/for0
  Replies (8) Good night (1926) Bad night (563)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.

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  (828): You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium. http://tfl.nu/fgxx
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (464)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest

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  (615): I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest http://tfl.nu/qz1n
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.

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  (301): Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows. http://tfl.nu/8j3i
  Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos

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  (330): I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos http://tfl.nu/fa4z
  Replies (1) Good night (749) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me

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  (612): And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother? (651): its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me http://tfl.nu/0gnd
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (250)

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