i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2