Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag

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(630): View more from Illinois

He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.

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(773): View more from Illinois

No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face

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(907): View more from Alaska

It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.

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(209): View more from California

My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?

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