Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  another moral hangover. fuck.

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  (910): another moral hangover. fuck. http://tfl.nu/vn7k
  Replies (14) Good night (665) Bad night (950)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?

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  (845): Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn? http://tfl.nu/bm5d
  Replies (11) Good night (6823) Bad night (1139)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

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  (860): Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it. http://tfl.nu/iun7
  Replies (15) Good night (1760) Bad night (3982)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center

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  (509): She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center http://tfl.nu/9ea5
  Replies (14) Good night (5287) Bad night (1228)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar

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  (781): You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar http://tfl.nu/4b1n
  Replies (6) Good night (2217) Bad night (965)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .

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  (902): New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever . http://tfl.nu/6kwm
  Replies (6) Good night (2877) Bad night (1136)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.

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  (570): Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/7z3e
  Replies (8) Good night (3101) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.

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  (360): There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it. http://tfl.nu/jy69
  Replies (21) Good night (2180) Bad night (574)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.

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  (312): I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other. http://tfl.nu/w5qg
  Replies (20) Good night (1809) Bad night (744)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.

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  (603): FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/9ddg
  Replies (6) Good night (638) Bad night (1071)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...

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  (303): We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes... http://tfl.nu/lait
  Replies (6) Good night (487) Bad night (1320)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.

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  (407): It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome. http://tfl.nu/288f
  Replies (2) Good night (1346) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?

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  (215): I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack? http://tfl.nu/k7vl
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Was it a good conversation?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was an awkward, sexual conversation.

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  (405): It was like we had a conversation with our eyes. (1-405): Was it a good conversation? (405): It was an awkward, sexual conversation. http://tfl.nu/99u8
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (198)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck

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  (513): she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck http://tfl.nu/n7bl
  Replies (4) Good night (1252) Bad night (221)

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