Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick