I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
