how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
