Who wears a wallet chain?!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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