you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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