there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
