spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
