There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You can't just leave with hair like that
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
