First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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