whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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