also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
