how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
