Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize