i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
