i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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