i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
