tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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