Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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