put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
And then he peed in my hair
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