Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
